:)

My last post made me seem like I was unhappy...I am happy...x I just love that song, it highlights my insecurities...x A waste of paint...x Tis pretty...x

lyrics...x Random songs...x



But I love you more than anyone I know
I do not know anyone at all
If I return just to find that I'm dead to you,
can my ghost lie in bed with you?
I'll possess your boyfriend's body,
then you'll be making love to me..- David Dondero-The Prince William Sound-Simple Love
 
So let's take a loan out
Put it down on a house
In a place we've never lived
in a place that exists
In the pages of scripts and
the songs that they sing
And all the beautiful things
That make you weep but
Don't have to make you weak- Rilo Kiley- I never- More Dangerous

When you look at me
i'll be digesting your legs
cause i can hardly see
whats in front of me these days
and those days, too.
i gotta take what im making and turn it into something for you...i gotta break what im making and turn it into nothing for you..."
-Manchester Orchestra-Where have you been?- I'm like a virgin losing a child

A black sheep boy grows horns,
breathing smoke through his microphone.
The airwaves stretch and they groan, bleeding, birthing his black diapason.-Okkervil River- So Come Back, I am Waiting- Black Sheep Boy ((best song ever))...x
 
Hey! You! Watch your face!
I got a pocket full of fists, you got a stupid face
Hey! You! Watch your face!
You're like Kentucky Fried Chicken, but without the taste.-Fight Like Apes-Jake Summers-How am I supposed to Kill You If You have all The Guns?

NOW JUST SONGS YOU SHOULD LISTEN TOO!

*Dananananaykroyd- Watch This!****
*Sky Larkin- Pica****
*Thomas Tantrum- Shake it! Shake it!****
*Johnny Foreigner- Dark Harbourzz****
*Bell X1- Rocky Took A Lover*****((pretty)) 'I'll burn for you, I'll shine for you, thats what I'll do'
*The Coronas- Decision Time *****
 'I don't want forever to start from now
And you know me I get freaked out,
Too worried to smile, too stubborn to cry
I shiver. I'm scared.'
*Red Light Company- With Lights Out *****
*General Fiasco- Rebel Get By **** ((Irish band)) :P
*Cathy Davey- Sing For Your Supper ***** ((pretty and awesome voice))

Byebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye...x

Bright Eyes...x

I have a friend, he is mostly made of pain.

And he wakes up, drives to work,

and then straight back home again.

He once cut one of my nightmares out of paper.

I thought it was beautiful, I put it on a record cover.

And I tried to tell him he had a sense

of color and composition so magnificent.

And he said



"Thank you, please

but your flattery

is truly not

becoming me.

Your eyes are poor.

You're blind.

You see,

no beauty could have come from me.

I'm a waste

of breath,

of space,

of time."



I knew a woman, she was dignified and true.

And her love for her man was one of her many virtues.

Until one day, she found out that he had lied

and she decided the rest of her life from that point on would be a lie.

But she was grateful for everything that had happened.

And she was anxious for all that would come next.

But then she wept.

What did you expect?

In that big, old house

with the cars she kept.

"And such is life," she often said.

With one day leading

to the next,

you get a little closer to your death,

which was fine with her.

She never got upset

and with all the days she may have left,

she would never clean

another mess

or fold his shirts

or look her best.

She was free

to waste

away

alone.



Last night, my brother he got drunk and drove.

And this cop he pulled him off to the side of the road.

And he said, "Officer! Officer! You got the wrong man.

No, no, I'm a student of medicine, a son of a banker, you don't understand!"

The cop said, "No one got hurt, you should be thankful.

And your carelessness, it is something awful.

And no, I can't just let you go.

And though your father's name is known,

your decisions now are yours alone.

You are nothing but a stepping stone

on a path

to debt,

to loss,

to shame."



The last few months I have been living with this couple.

Yeah, you know, the kind who buy everything in doubles.

They fit together, like a puzzle.

And I love their love and I am thankful

that someone actually receives the prize that was promised

by all those fairy tales that drugged us.

And they still do me.

I'm sick, lonely,

no laurel tree,

just green envy.

Will my number come up eventually?

Like Love's some kind of lottery,

where you scratch and see

what's underneath.

It's "Sorry",

just one cherry,

or "Play Again."

Get lucky.



So I've been hanging out down by the train's depot.

No, I don't ride.

I just sit and watch the people there.

And they remind me of wind up cars in motion.

The way they spin and turn and jockey for positions.

And I want to scream out that it all is nonsense.

All your life's one track,

can't they see it's pointless?

But just then, my knees

give under me.

My head feels weak

and suddenly

it's clear to see

it's not them but me,

who has lost my self-identity.

As I hide behind

these books I read,

while scribbling

my poetry,

like art could save a wretch like me,

with some ideal ideology

that no one could hope to achieve.

And I am never real;

it is just a sketch in me.

And everything I made is trite

and cheap

and a waste

of paint,

of tape,

of time.



So now I park my car down by the cathedral,

where the floodlights point up at the steeples.

Choir practice was filling up with people.

I hear the sound escaping as an echo.

Sloping off the ceiling at an angle.

When the voices blend they sound like angels.

I hope there’s some room still in the middle.

But when I lift my voice up now to reach them.

The range is too high,

way up in heaven.

So I hold my tongue,

forget the song,

tie my shoe

start walking off.

And try to just keep moving on,

with my broken heart

and my absent God

and I have no faith

but it's all I want,

to be loved.

And believe,

in my soul.

In my soul.

In my soul.

In my soul.

Starfish..x

Listen to Starfish by Sister Hazel...Tis sooooo awesome :) it makes me smile every time I hear it...x

Hee hee...soooooo...recently I am sooo happy, more happy than I think I have ever been...Tis all cause of my Vampire Boy...and I know that sounds rather cliche...but we are not a cliche...we are Vampires...Tis vampire Love...x and it is perfect...x

I have left school...except right now I am sat in school...cause I like to see Vincent...hehe...soon though I won't be able to just randomly come in...sooo i will just have to go over to his more often...x I am staying at his house tomorrow night...:P I love staying the night with him...tis soo pretty x...just to sleep next to him, with his arm wrapped around me, is sooo beautiful :)...x I love him sooo much :)...x

Anyways...i have to go :) I am going to spend all night writing songs and playing guitar...x I am rather excited to do that :) x

OOOOh i need a picture..x

1 minuuuute x

Soooooooooo Happy!!!!!!!

I am in love!....So so so in love...I am soooo happy!!!!...I love him...Vincent Turner!...I love you baby! x x x x x x x x x always x

I WANNA BE A HIPPY AGAIN :P...x

I am happy...everything is going well :)...x I am trying not to think about school though cause that will just stress me out...x I am 100% completely and irrevokebly in love with my vampire boy...x We are going away for a weekend to whitby together :)...x I am so excited. I will love it...Just to be with him like that is awesome...x And he will be dressed all hot and stuffs...well hes hot anyway...but its the goth weekend..and i love it when hes scary :P lol...x

Goodnight world :)

Byeybyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye...x

Falling in love is hard on the knees...x

I'm feeling weird, I havn't felt myself recently, I need my vampire boy to make it all better...only thing is, he is never there...I love him with all of my heart, I only wish that I could feel closer to him...x But I guess i will just have to wait for that moment, when we can feel close like i want us to..x.

i am going to call him now, i hope he answers...x But i know that as soon as he answers the phone, all my words will disappear and i will be unable to tell him how i feel...i dont know why it happens, it just does...x

I am afraid...of falling, even though i already have...but most of all i am afraid of losing him...x

byebyebyebyebyebyebyebyebye...x

Time to burn...x

Fear of the dark tears me apart,
Wont leave me alone and time keeps running out

Just one more life, I'm so sick and tired
Of singing the blues, I should turn my life around

Tell me why do I feel this way
All my life I've been standing on the borderline
Too many bridges burned, Too many lies I've heard
I had a life but I cant go back
I cant do that, it will never be the same again
And I know I dont
Have any time to burn

They follow me home, disturbing my sleep
But I'll find a place, a place where they cannot find me
Maybe I'm lost, and maybe I'm scared
But too many times I've closed the doors behind me

I dont have any time to burn...x