Suicide note...x

To Boddah:

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton
who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile
complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to
understand.
All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over
the years, since my first introduction to the, shall we
say, ethics involved with independence and the
embracement of your community had proven to be
very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening
to as well as creating music along with reading and
writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond
words about these things.
For example, when we're backstage and the lights go
out and the manic roar of the crowds begin, it doesn't
affect me the way in which it did for Freddie Mercury,
who seemed to love, relish in the love and adoration
from the crowd which is something I totally admire
and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any one of you.
It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I
can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and
pretending as if I'm having 100% fun.

Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch-in time
clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything
within my power to appreciate it (and I do, God,
believe me I do, but it's not enough). I appreciate
the fact that I and we have affected and
entertained a lot of people. It must be one of those
narcissists who only appreciate things when they're
gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in
order to regain the enthusiasms I once had as a child.
On our last 3 tours, I've had a much better
appreciation for all the people I've known personally,
and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over
the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for
everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I
simply love people too much, so much that it makes
me feel too sad. The sad little, sensitive,
unappreciative, Pisces, Jesus man. Why don't you
just enjoy it? I don't know!

I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition
and empathy and a daughter who reminds me
too much of what I used to be, full of love and joy,
kissing every person she meets because everyone is
good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me
to the point to where I can barely function. I can't
stand the thought of Frances becoming the
miserable, self-destructive, death rocker that I've
become.

I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but
since the age of seven, I've become hateful towards
all humans in general. Only because it seems so
easy for people to get along that have empathy.
Only because I love and feel sorry for people too
much, I guess.

Thank you all from the pit of my burning,
nauseous stomach for your letters and concern
during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic,
moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore, and so
remember, it's better to burn out than to fade away.
Peace, love, empathy,
Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I'll be at your altar.
Please keep going Courtney, for Frances.
For her life, which will be so much happier without me.



I love you, I love you!

The parts I have highlighted in red are the bits that I dont believe that Kurt cobain would have written. The most part of the note is just himself apologising to his fans and saying that he is going to basically quit Nirvana and start a new life...the rest is her...and as you can see in the picture the hand writing does change at the bottom..x

I am right, I know I am....x

I feel ill now...x

Erm..Bye...x